Chris: At this point in time, I would like to just briefly mention, for the record, that you have dispatched one, two, three, four, five Zombie Rotters. All of those guys are, in 4th edition, what we call Minions. It's a special class of monster that are designed to go down in a hit. To sort of give you that stormtrooper feel. Y'know. Bam. Goes down. Viscerally, pretty exciting to have lots of corpses lying around the battlefield.
Jerry: And they were corpses, actually, before we killed them.
Chris: Yeah, but they're not walkin' around anymore.
Jerry: Technically, they might actually be like 10 corpses or like 5 double-corpses.
Chris: On the other hand, the two zombies that are still standing are a type of monster called Brute, which is...
Mike: A real a******?
Jerry: A real sonuva*****?
Chris: More like sacks of hit points.
Jerry: Oh, I see. They're elites.
Chris: They're designed to take a beating, as opposed to other types of monsters which are like Artillery, Controllers, Lurkers, Soldiers... Monsters have different roles, so that when I'm a DM and I'm putting together encounters, I can combine different types of monsters to get different effects. Anyway! Sorry for that little--
Jerry: But that's what's going on. Those guys are designed to be laid to waste.
Scott: We know we suck, alright, dude? You don't have to point out how you've created special monsters to go down easy for us!
Jerry: For this party.
Scott: For this ridiculous... 1-rollers over here.
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Friday, May 6, 2016
Scorching Sepulchers, Batman!
Jerry: What do I see?
Chris: Gooood question. You see a...
Jerry: "Yooou seeee the eeevil crypt!"
Chris: You do see something that looks very crypt-like and sepulchral.
Jerry: ...Is it a crypt?
Chris: Yes. And it's full of rotting corpses.
Mike: "Sepulchral"?
Scott: Sepulcher.
Chris: Gotta throw in the big words to keep you on your toes.
Scott: If you were the Horde, you'd know how to say "sepulcher".
Mike: I thought it was a sepu-culture.
Scott: No. What?
Jerry: There's a "ch" in there, I understand. Does the new set come with a dictionary? Like a Webster's or something like that?
Mike: It's seriously not sepuculture?? How do you say it?
Scott: Sepulcher.
Mike: Sepulcher??
Jerry: Anyway, so we're talkin', it's the classic look, right? The look everybody's trying to get for this year's dungeon.
Mike: They've been reading Sepuculture & Garden!
Scott: Geez.
...
Chris: These zombies thought they had a plan.
Jerry: They're gonna get scorched. I just... I'm not a prophet, but I got a sense.
Chirs: And then it is... Jim's turn!
Jim: Jim's ready.
Scott: I'm likin' that name more and more, with every attack.
...
Mike: I'm gonna do Scorching Burst then.
Chris: It is basically a 3x3 square, as we talked about earlier.
Mike: If I plant it here then both those guys get hit.
Chris: And so will the dwarf.
Mike: Eh, he's tough.
Chris: Yeah, he is tough.
Scott: I'll be alright.
Jerry: I can heal him.
Chris: I like the cavalier way he just, y'know, wrote you off there.
Scott: No, he's not concerned about me at all, because he's not separating the way he feels about me as a person from my character, and he would let me die in real life.
Mike: Yeah. Absolutely.
Scott: S'alright!
Chris: Dwarves are fireproof, right?
Chris: Gooood question. You see a...
Jerry: "Yooou seeee the eeevil crypt!"
Chris: You do see something that looks very crypt-like and sepulchral.
Jerry: ...Is it a crypt?
Chris: Yes. And it's full of rotting corpses.
Mike: "Sepulchral"?
Scott: Sepulcher.
Chris: Gotta throw in the big words to keep you on your toes.
Scott: If you were the Horde, you'd know how to say "sepulcher".
Mike: I thought it was a sepu-culture.
Scott: No. What?
Jerry: There's a "ch" in there, I understand. Does the new set come with a dictionary? Like a Webster's or something like that?
Mike: It's seriously not sepuculture?? How do you say it?
Scott: Sepulcher.
Mike: Sepulcher??
Jerry: Anyway, so we're talkin', it's the classic look, right? The look everybody's trying to get for this year's dungeon.
Mike: They've been reading Sepuculture & Garden!
Scott: Geez.
...
Chris: These zombies thought they had a plan.
Jerry: They're gonna get scorched. I just... I'm not a prophet, but I got a sense.
Chirs: And then it is... Jim's turn!
Jim: Jim's ready.
Scott: I'm likin' that name more and more, with every attack.
...
Mike: I'm gonna do Scorching Burst then.
Chris: It is basically a 3x3 square, as we talked about earlier.
Mike: If I plant it here then both those guys get hit.
Chris: And so will the dwarf.
Mike: Eh, he's tough.
Chris: Yeah, he is tough.
Scott: I'll be alright.
Jerry: I can heal him.
Chris: I like the cavalier way he just, y'know, wrote you off there.
Scott: No, he's not concerned about me at all, because he's not separating the way he feels about me as a person from my character, and he would let me die in real life.
Mike: Yeah. Absolutely.
Scott: S'alright!
Chris: Dwarves are fireproof, right?
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